When I launched my new site fifteen months ago, I anticipated writing 2–3 columns a month for the site in addition to the other things happening in my life, both professional and personal. That was working out pretty well even after the start of COVID-19. I cannot overstate the dramatic impact the pandemic has had on all of our lives, and yet in my corner of God’s creation, things were calmer than for many people I know.
Still, one of the areas in which I have not been diligent is in my writing. Longtime visitors know I quite enjoy the entire writing process, particularly the sharing aspect of writing something and then sharing for all the world to see (I explain this a bit in this post). Once in a while, I think I have written something pretty good though usually, I have doubts in the back of my mind that linger…well, for a long time.
A lot has happened in my life that I want to share before returning my attention to other topics such as reopening churches, budgeting during corona, the presidential election, etc. Like many of you, I will not mourn when 2020 passes away and we move into 2021!
Birthdays as Milestones
Some birthdays are more consequential than others. I remember turning 18 and having to apply for Selective Service (I ended up enlisting in the United States Marine Corps, so that was kind of a moot point). A few years later, 21 arrived though that milestone was not nearly significant as I had thought it would be at the time.
The next big birthday for me was when I turned 30. I celebrated that milestone as a married man with my beautiful wife BC (before children), having purchased our first house the previous year. My 30’s were eventful too! We were blessed with two amazing children (2001 & 2002), and I began an educational journey that continues to this day (more on that later). During my 30’s, I also sensed God’s call to ministry that I would make known at a 38-year-old.
At 40, I was in the throes of online seminary training seeking a master of religious education (MRE). At that time, our Southern Baptist seminaries did precious little online, which made Liberty University an easy choice for me. Yet, I sensed that God had more education in my future after completing that program. Our family of four attended commencement in Lynchburg in 2012, at which Mitt Romney was the keynote speaker. Recall that he was the Republican nominee for president in that election cycle, and it made for a rather exciting campus experience that included Secret Service screening. For our part, we all thought the security measures were a bit much, but we were considerably closer to the events of 9/11 at that time, so it made sense.
During this time, I had been exploring doctoral programs and kept coming back to the Doctor of Education (EdD) program at Southern Seminary. The truth is I never expected to be accepted when I made an application. In my mind, I was obedient, and when I was declined admission, I could point to my obedience and insist I tried as I went on about seeking the place of ministry God had for me, or so I thought. I recall distinctly reading the acceptance letter I received from Southern and asking my wife, “what am I going to do?” Her reply was simple yet elegant: “it looks like you’re going back to school!”
I was still 45 when I completed that program and graduated. During the final months of the program, the Lord connected me with the pastor of my current place of service, where I have been on staff since January 2016, learning all of the things I must have missed in seminary. I am grateful for the continued investment this amazing church makes in me and my family’s lives. We are blessed.
This year I hit a very major milestone on the calendar. Back in April, I turned 50, and with that, a new season of life began. There are new experiences with our healthcare professionals that start at this age, and I have dutifully embraced my part insofar as making and keeping the appointments is concerned. Older friends have blessed me with the knowledge that it doesn’t get much better in the coming years!
Staying Healthy
After years of encouraging her to consider doing so, Melisa finally had a LASIK procedure on both eyes about a month ago. Her experience with that has been much like others we know who have this procedure. She is enjoying driving without corrective lenses for the first time in her life. She does not worry about making sure she has an ample supply of contact lenses and related products, and that is a good thing. She is still healing and has follow-up appointments with our ophthalmologist to ensure she continues to do well.
Most people are unaware I suffered from a paintball injury back in 2005 and have an ocular implant in my right eye. I suffered permanent retina damage and will never be able to read with that eye again. Yet God was merciful, and I did not lose my sight as a result of this injury. At the time, I considered contact lenses but was told I would not be able to wear one in my right eye. Contact lenses have advanced considerably over the last fifteen years, and I have recently been fitted successfully, even with an eye with an irregular shape due to injury.
Something else most people are unaware of is that my doctor was concerned about test results several years ago that indicated the possibility of prostate cancer. By God’s grace, that concern led to a referral to a specialist who diagnosed me as having benign prostatic hyperplasia rather than cancer. Though that was a relief, I was left with addressing the condition diagnosed. After trying a medicinal remedy unsuccessfully, I recently had a procedure that we hope will take care of this. So far, I am doing well and seeing encouraging improvement.
Crossing a Bridge
In August, we moved our son back to Truett McConnell University. He has eagerly resumed his studies as a Christian Studies major with a full course load. Right now, he is enjoying diving deep into biblical Hebrew and seeing the Scriptures come alive in ways had never had before. It is quite the thing to sit and listen to him share what he is learning and how he is coming to see his Bible in a fresh, new way. It is fun to see him preparing for the future God has for him.
Our daughter plans to join our son on campus next January! She is finishing up her high school career and will graduate in December of this year. She has worked very hard as a dual-enrolled student, and at the end of the academic year next Spring, she will be a college junior. On top of that, she works a little over 20 hours a week as a gymnastics coach at our local YMCA. She has discovered a love of teaching and plans to enter college as an education major.
Melisa recently received her master of science in psychology with an emphasis in industrial and organizational psychology. Many do not know she already holds a master’s degree or working on a second master’s. She is rather accomplished academically and quite the remarkable woman who is almost singlehandedly responsible for encouraging me to pursue higher to start with many years ago.
That brings me to my educational pursuits. Over the summer, I shared on social media that I had accepted an invitation from Southern Seminary to complete a bridge program converting the doctor of education degree I earned back in 2015 to the doctor of philosophy. Upon completion, Lord willing, December 2021, I will surrender the EdD and will receive the Ph.D. as well as the master of theology (ThM).
There are two questions I get about my decision to return to school (again). The first is, will we have to move to Louisville, and the answer to that is no! There will be several trips to campus between now and the time I complete the bridge program, but it is modular like the Ed.D. was.
The second question is simply why? Put simply, it is not something I need to do, so why? The truth is, the Ph.D. is the degree program to which I would have sought admission if I had the confidence to do so back in 2012. Honestly, it is the investment my pastor and church have made in me over the last nearly five years that gave me the confidence to say “yes” to their invitation to the bridge program.
Losing my dad
My family of origin is blended. At age 50, I am still learning about my family and finally finding the voice to ask questions that perhaps I should have asked years ago. My opportunity to ask some of those questions ended September 17th when my stepfather passed away. I refer to him as my dad because I never knew my biological father. My stepdad is the man that raised me and was the only earthly father I have ever known.
He was a complicated man who expressed his pleasure in how God has blessed my family in recent years. He was proud of the young people my children are growing into though he was never close with them and, sadly, for me, never expressed any regret in his lack of relationship with them. He did express some regrets though about how his life unfolded.
During a visit to South Georgia several years ago, we spoke for hours, and he shared that he thought his life would be different. I pressed into that for a couple of reasons. One of those was that he had never shown any chinks in his armor, so to speak, so this piqued my curiosity. He had thought he would enjoy greater financial success and stability in his life. Some of those challenges were of his own making, and some were dealt to him.
As a high school graduate, he stayed out too late after graduation. Upon arriving home, he found all of his belongings had been placed outside by his parents. Not only had they kicked him out of the house, but they also refused to help him with college. His dad was a graduate of Purdue University and a mechanical engineer. The future would be different for dad.
A rocky entry into adulthood, a tour of duty in the US Navy in the 1950s, and a failed marriage in the 1960s, meeting a young single woman with a baby in 1970, would later become his second wife. This and no doubt much more shaped him and informed the way he approached providing for his family and raising children. There is a lot more I could write about that but not as much as I’d like. I suppose some questions are not mean to be answered.
Through this, God showed grace in allowing my mom to be with him in his final hours. Until the end, dad was lucid and conversant. In fact, he had a small cup of ice cream a couple of hours before he passed away (he LOVED ice cream!). They got to talk, hold hands, and say the final things they needed to say to one another in this life. At the end, he told her he was ready to go…she told him it was okay. They were both at peace. I wasn’t able to be there this time like I was back in December of 2016 when he had colon cancer, but I am at peace too. God is faithful!
A closing thought
I’ve kind of meandered a bit in this post, and if you’re still reading, you already realized that. I appreciate the visitors to my site, especially those reading my posts since 2007 when I started doing this. This has been a bit therapeutic for me. We all know how challenging 2020 has been, and I am sure most people I know share my hope that we will see a return to normalcy 2021.
Don’t forget to mark your milestones AND let the people close to you know. Crazy happens, but you don’t have to be alone when it does. Look after your health so you can be with those special people in your life. Sometimes that is going to be uncomfortable but do it anyway. Your loved ones will thank you. Sometimes God puts a fork in our road, and other times there are bridges to cross. If you’re spending time in prayer, you’re going to have a much better idea which fork to take and whether or not the bridge is yours to cross. Along the way, we’re going to lose people we care deeply about. God is still faithful. The seasons of life change, we may change, He does not.
In our family, normal is a faster pace than some other families, and we seem to have lots of moving parts. We know we are blessed. Leave a comment and tell me how God has blessed you!