Four weeks from today my wife and I will be moving my son into his college dorm room. I have a confession to make: they are both much more prepared for this day to arrive than I am. I have often prayed our kids would have the opportunity to pursue higher education and prepare for the lives God has for them. Perhaps one or both will go to graduate school and perhaps even seek a doctorate someday. Those eventually became my goals and God has blessed me richly through those academic pursuits. I am eager for this new season in our parenting journey.
My son is ready for move-in day to arrive for the same reasons most young men are ready to move away to college or university. He is ready to be away from his family, he is ready to experience a greater degree of independence, and he is ready to take on more responsibility for his future. These are all good things and part of becoming a responsible adult in our culture today.
When I say my son and wife are more prepared for this next season in our lives than I am, that does not mean I am not embracing it. Quite the opposite is actually true! The excitement we all have for our son’s future and for his next steps is almost contagious. It also helps that we are very comfortable in his choice of where these next few years will be spent as he grows and is equipped for what God is calling him to after college. Reaching that level of comfort was a process though and maybe a little of how we got there will be helpful for others.
Moving Away
Sooner or later, children reach adulthood and begin their lives outside of their parents’ home, at least I believe most people desire that for their children (and themselves!). For some families that simply means their kids get their own place in the same area where their family resides. Often many generations live in the same area. Here in South Georgia, there are many families that have been in the area for many, many years weaving their stories into the very fabric of the community.
Even when there is a strong college or university in the city where kids grow up such as Valdosta State University here, many choose to pursue higher education in other schools. Sometimes it is because the local school does not offer a particular program of study, a completely legitimate reason to move away for school. Sometimes it is the desire to be a few hours (or more) away from family, still close enough for support but far enough away to begin spreading their wings a bit.
For our son, I am pleased that his main reason for choosing the school he did is because of their programs. He has gotten to know graduates of the school and heard about their positive experiences. He has also been able to observe my own service to the school as a member of their Board of Visitors. As my own comfort with the school increased, it made his decision easier to make.
Greater Independence
Our children have been getting themselves up for school, making many of their own meals each week, doing their own laundry, etc. for a number of years now. There is a lot to be said about those things and how they help to prepare young people for the eventual transition into adulthood. As helpful as those sorts of things are both for them and for us as parents, there is a big difference between doing that while living in the family home and doing it on their own living with a college roommate.
Greater independence also means dealing with the consequences of missing a class or missing out on a social activity he may prefer to participate in. It means being disciplined to complete schoolwork independent of parental supervision and encouragement (as in asking 3-4 times if homework is done). Greater independence also means enjoying the fruits of hard work and the confidence that comes with accomplishing things increasingly based on one’s own choices.
The environment where our son will exercise this new independence matters a great deal to us as I am sure it does to all parents of college students. What sort of on-campus environment is promoted by the school? Does the school support the values we have spent nearly two decades instilling in our son or will those values be undermined through the curriculum and/or in more subtle ways not necessarily apparent from the outside?
These concerns have more than been addressed leaving my wife and I confident that our son will be in a supportive Christian environment that will seek to guide academic growth, continued development of Christian character, and edify the body of Christ by investing in our son. We know there are a number of Great Baptist colleges and universities that would all lead us to the same conclusion (that thought in and of itself is quite comforting!). Still, we are well pleased in the decision our son has made.
Preparing for the Future
Though college is not the path that everyone chooses, it is an important part of the transition into adulthood for many. Regardless of the reasons people go to college or university, most expect to learn some skills that will help them support themselves in the future. Education Secretary Betsy DeVos said: “Higher education is about more than job training, but let’s be honest: Almost every student who earns a degree expects some kind of future in the labor market.” She is absolutely right!
The fact is that preparing our kids for the future has been the underlying factor in our decision-making for many years. Our children are both gifts from God but they are not gifts we get to keep. Parenting is a stewardship and we have tried to remember that as our children grew from those tiny infants we brought home from the hospital in Atlanta into the young people they are today. The next season must help us continue in this area of our stewardship as parents as it helps our son become the young man God has called him to be.
To prepare for the future, be it people or institutions, there must be future-minded leadership. I very strongly believe that everything (and I do mean everything) rises and falls on leadership! What is the leadership of the school like and how focused on the future are they? How is that focus evident in the school today and in their plans for tomorrow? What about the faculty? Does the faculty reflect the focus on the future of today’s students and the programs necessary to prepare them for tomorrow?
Having had the opportunity to get to know the president, some administrators, and a number of the faculty, we are confident in the choice of school our son made and are actually quite excited about Move-In Day. We know leadership of the school is focused equipping students to fulfill the Great Commission (Matthew 28:18-20) by fostering a Christian worldview through a Biblically-centered education in a family friendly environment. We know our son will be taught in a was consistent with our values as he is equipped for his own future, wherever the Lord may take him.
We know the quality of the education our son will receive will be excellent. How do we know? The quality of the faculty is outstanding! Most of our Southern Baptist seminaries, College of William & Mary, Florida State University, Georgia State, Georgia Tech, Harvard University, Illinois Institute of Technology, Liberty University, Mercer University, Nova Southeastern University, Universities of Alabama, Florida, Georgia, Missouri, North Carolina, Oklahoma, Southern Mississippi, Texas at Arlington, Texas at Austin, and Valdosta State University near my home are all schools that are represented by the faculty! If the quality of an academic program of study is determined by the quality of the faculty, and I believe it is, then my son can be confident they will receive a rigorous education
Where is he going?
Those connected via social media may recall our son was accepted to Truett McConnell University a couple of months ago. We are still getting all of the necessary enrollment steps taken care of but that is almost finished and the next chapter in our story is about to begin. Move-In day is August 10th…just four weeks away and we couldn’t be more excited for our son. Nervous…maybe a bit more for me than the rest of our family, but excited nonetheless.
If your family has a student approaching those college years, let me encourage you to carefully consider these factors among those you’re probably already thinking through. You don’t have to send your kids to institutions that subtly undermine their Christian faith and teach contrary to your Christian values. There are options. Truett McConnell University a great one to consider!
Blessings,
Chris